i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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