Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
