Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
