you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize