would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i now understand why vodka
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
