the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
