my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
