Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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