Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize