Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
