Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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