I accidentally burped into my bong.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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