Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
