ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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