her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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