i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
