i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize