I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
