so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
