she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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