i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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