Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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