the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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