PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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