That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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