My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
