you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
