you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
