Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
