I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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