That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
