Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
