I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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