I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
