I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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