Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
