Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
honey bunches of taint.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
