Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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