Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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