well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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