Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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