I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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