Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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