Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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