In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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