she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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