we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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