porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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