You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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