took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
