dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think brook has ever known best
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
