is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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