Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
should my penis look like a turkey
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
