I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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