I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she looked like the before picture.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
