Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
