Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
MIDGETS
????
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
