I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
