Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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