i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
