I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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