Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
